Hmm...

No particular topic in mind to write about. Early morning meditation and a text message from a girl I met online. I shouldn't have given her my number. Why would anyone assume I'd like to talk at 7:30 am on a Thursday? Again with the weird dreams, only this time I can't remember. Sinus congestion has been going on for weeks now and no real reprieve. I understand sinus pain and can commiserate with those who have it. My thoughts are random, indefinite, without a goal or a purpose to drive them. I travel in many directions, have many hobbies, a jack of all trades as my father would say. And yet I still want to be a master of one, or of many. What does this life mean? I'm still on the "what's it all about thread," but i suppose at this moment I perceive contentment or something close to it. If love is the answer, then it cannot be human love; it must be universal. We humans seem to fall victim to our minds quite often. If the stresses of daily life or of our physical malfunctioning is allowed to influence our psyches, then the perception of love is unlikely. Our main drive should be to increase the time in which we are able to feel love, and by that I mean perceive it. Does this mean to slow the chaotic whirling of the mind, or to be thankful for all that we have, or both? There would appear to be various ways of reaching the same point, as there are different paths to enlightenment. Enlightenment is a state of elevation in which the perception of love is total and complete, and one's mind does not regress into the madness of mere human functioning. It is beyond the human mind. It is inclusive of every blade of grass, every tree and building, every breath of air, and every pair of human eyes that reflect our own souls... When I can clearly see myself in everything and everyone- this is higher consciousness. Recognition of beauty: yet another means to attaining higher states. Seeing the light reflected in a single drop of rain, or a thousand million drops falling in front of a streetlamp. Hearing the melody of birds or seeing an old woman sitting on a park bench, the lines and folds of her face, the thought that she is a wonderful kind of energy with deep pools of experience, and she keeps wandering on some spectacular journey through the stars. We are all stardust after all, tiny flecks of sand in a gigantic space. We are the space. We are the stars. The entire process of creation is one of our breaths. Ahh but to perceive it completely, to know this with intuition and with a depth of peace, to ride the waves of this vast ocean without fear but with love. What is this concept called love? Is it an actual thing? Is the word love a perfect symbol for the feeling we ascribe it to, and is it that we feel love or that we are aware of it? Is the feeling of connectedness we have when we are with family a small taste of a greater love, a cosmic love? I think we simply want to feel connected, and we receive that feeling when we are in a relationship, or when we are with loving family members. But the feeling of connectedness is an act of perception, because we can be around people who love us and feel nothing, feel isolated and bitter. Likewise we can be alone and feel a passionate joy that can aptly be described as a feeling of love; again it is a perception. So. Connectedness. A feeling of being connected, of being loved, of being a part of a greater love. The connectedness we perceive in a romantic relationship cannot be entirely real, because when the object of our love is taken away, so too does the connected feeling dissipate. The only real love occurs when realize our connectedness to everything, when connectedness does not depend on the love of an individual outside ourselves.