Being More Aware

The other day i played a little game with myself while riding my motorcycle home in teeming Taipei traffic. i had just gone to the Heping Flower Market to shop for a birthday present for my girlfriend (its a huge outdoor market set up underneath a freeway ramp), and i ended up with about six plants stuffed into my motorcycle bags and hanging from my handlebars. It's common to see scooters loaded down with all sorts of goods while slaloming through the plethora of vehicles, so i was not an oddity. But being that i felt burdened and awkward with all my plants, i started noticing other bikes which were laden with goods. One man had a huge crate mounted on the back of his cycle for hauling things. Others had various bulky objects stuffed at their feet for carrying home. It's logical that if you dont drive a car you're gonna cram as much as you can onto your only mode of transportation, and for most Taiwanese peole it's their scooters.

Noticing this phenomenon transitioned into noticing everything i was participating in - just for the hell of it. i started a kind of game in my mind: "What all do i have around me right now? What is this moving scene that i am a part of?" And so i began to catalogue everything in a way that seemed at once to amuse me, taking away my boredom, and at the same time bumping up my awareness a few degrees, which seeemed to make me more alert. It went like this: "i just left the flower market and am carrying a bunch of plants hanging in bags on my cycle. The sun is beating down and i am sweating pretty profusely. To my left is a portly man, not really fat except for his belly. Physically he could almost be the Chinese version of my father sitting on a scooter. He looks hot and is wearing an extra pair of sleeves that cover his forearms but are not attached to his t-shirt. Now he pulls up his t-shirt and lets his belly hang out and cool off in the minute breeze. In front of me are about 15 scooters, a few cars. On my right is the man with the mounted crate on his motorcycle. He must use it for his livelihood, whatever that may be. We're moving now, sluggish at first, lurching forward as one mob, gaining speed. The wind now is pleasant because i am moving. Interspersed along this road are openings under the overpass on my left, and taxis and regular cars perch at these holes, waiting to emerge, merge with traffic. Trees have began studding the road and they make me more at ease than where i just was." And so on...

i did this mental cataloguing in much more detail at the time, taking inventory of every possible stimuli my mind could process, until i got bored with the game. But i realized that my mind was active and working, and listing my environment was much more interesting than i would have thought. In fact, the act of doing it made me realize that the world around me was much more interesting than i normally would give it credit for. On most days we just commute to wherever, and if it's often the same location we won't give much creative thought to what is going on around us. We don't see much interest in the environment at all because we have "seen it all before." But i believe how much of things we really see depends on how actively our minds are engaged in the experience we are having. If we believe the experience is commonplace and mundane, then that is how it will appear. If, on the other hand, we delve a bit deeper into the multitude of processes occuring simultaneously before us, things become interesting, and our minds becoming enthusiastic about playing the game.

There might also be some memory advantage to this activity, meaning if you consciously calalogue events or objects in your mind, you are rooting them a bit more than you probably would otherwise. It's like with writing; whenever you have an experience and write it down, you are more likely to remember it than if you don't.

In any case, try the game and see how you like it. The next time you are commuting anywhere, start narrating to yourself what is happening in your life at this exact moment, all the things you see and hear and smell and feel. You will probably find that your awareness jumps up a notch.

Nuthin

i dont really feel like writing. Not sure why. I guess it's not instilling the same passion in me it once did. Maybe it's because i have been out of the habit for so long, or maybe it's because there are so many other distractions, forms of entertainment i can get sidetracked by. I just read this article about pictures off Facebook being used to incriminate a 20 year old in his drunk driving case. Sent him to prison for two years, and the judge said he was definitely influenced by seeing the "remorseless" photos of the kid partying so recently after the accident which left a girl hospitalized.

Although it is interesting to know we should be wary about incriminating ourselves on these social networking sites (and of course blogs like these), reading the story makes me think i should fast from the news in addition to fasting from TV. There isn't much good news out there. It's all bombings, murders, protests, disasters, and anything else sensational and dramatic that the media knows we'll buy into, and we do it because it momentarily suspends reflection on our own lives, just like when we watch TV and get ensconced in the problems of the characters so that we don't have to live our own stories. Our own stories are generally far more interesting, but we usually don't think so, or just don't pay enough attention to what is happening. We all have stories though, and i bet most of them would make great plays, books, or movies.

But i digress. This whole entry is a digression from... what? From i suppose the real story which i am currently living and giving attention to, a story everyone gets involved with at some point. I've hit the two year mark in my current relationship, and say what you will, there is something magically crappy that shifts the dynamic of a man and woman's relationship at roughly this 24 month point. I've encountered it before, and I've heard others tell the same tale; it's make or break time. Those little nothing arguments have started popping up in which i have no idea what we are squawking about. As a rule i think that i am right, which of course is what both parties think, so neither one concedes the stupid debate, causing it to erupt into a series of "things you always do that make me mad." These are usually proferred by the girlfriend because she seems to have an uncanny ability to remember every conversation in which you've abased her, and likely the boyfriend only recollects upon hearing said slander. "Always is never true," the boyfriend intones, thinking his logic will quell the barrage of angry words being flung mercilessly upon him. But once Pandora's Box has been breached, closure is a distant shore. When the silence comes it is thundering. Neither one speaks. Instead they sit on the couch waiting for some change to occur which never does. Energies simply have to settle, egos put on ice, and slowly, slowly, the disagreement is catalogued and stored away for another day in court.

But hey let's be positive about this. Maybe adjusting to these minute squabbles is part of the growing process during any long-term healthy relationship. Perhaps we are discovering one another's boundaries and learning how to let go of the ego as it adapts unselfishly to someone else. i guess the only way is to be unselfish, otherwise the ego continues its desire to be right, which is an exercise in futility. i remeber this story Wayne Dyer once told about him and his wife and their occaisional battles which would be heated until he figured out a little trick. He would start to try and empathize and would simply say in utter surrender, "You know, you're right about that." And instantly his wife's missiles would be disarmed and she'd stop for a second and things would simmer down as Wayne tried to adapt to her feelings. But of course after a hundred or so "your right about thats," his wife caught on and would get pissed and feel like he was bullshitting her. At least i think that's how the story went. Point is it worked for awhile, ok? And good old Wayne i'm sure came up with some other plucky way to make peace when this method wore itself out.

Hell i don't know, but i do know it sure as hell feels better to think of positive shit than negative shit. So i choose to be positive.

And that's the end of that entry.

Teaching ESL at Google

So, i often go to interesting business locations for teaching English here in Taiwan. I've taught at several different government offices, and today i just finished a class at Taipei City Hall. Taipei City Hall is pretty close to the Taipei 101 building, the tallest building in the world and massive center of commerce for the country (unless of course the even taller building in Dubai has finished construction, in which case 101 is now number 2). So next week i'm going to start teaching at Google in Taipei 101, which is pretty interesting considering i often tap away in the Google search engine, and yet have never had a more concrete experience of the company. I didn't even know they had an office in Taipei. Go figure. So it should be interesting and will hopefully have a good view since the office is on the 36th floor of the building.

Small Legs Dangling

Riding home the other night i saw this woman sitting on the back of a scooter in front of me. i looked down at her legs and saw that they were abnormally small and scrawny. Then it occurred to me that these were a third pair of legs, in between her's and the driver's. They were a child's. Now this in itself is not a strange phenomenon. i see little kids dangling from scooters all the time around here. What was strange was the optical illusion that three pairs of legs smooshed together created for me as i sat atop my own motorcycle. And the fact that the legs in question did indeed belong to a child reemphasized to me the appalling nature of such a frail body having quite a lack of protection.

The other day i saw a man cruising his scooter across the street at no small speed with 3 children crowded together in front of him with no helmets. To the kids i'm sure it's super fun careening around with the wind in their faces and the objects speeding by. To the parents it must simply be a matter of necessity. I'm not sure why it isn't illegal to barrel down the road with a few helmetless kids on a scooter, but i've never heard of anyone getting a ticket for it.

Teaching

I have to admit i am a lazy teacher. Lazy meaning i do the least possible work to produce the end result, i.e. student learns a little something and is happy for having been there, which makes him come back. The happiness is the key ingredient, that and simplicity. Today i was thinking it's high time i started teaching how to teach. Why the hell not? i've been doing this crap for almost 7 years! can you believe that?! Where on God's green earth has the time gone? So recently i've realized the manifestation of a pattern that i previously was only slightly aware of. It's a pattern of teaching, specifically related to larger group classes, 15 or more. i teach alot of private students - in fact i mostly teach one on one - so the culmination of my group teaching skills have been slow to manifest.

Basically i come in, make some chit chat to make people comfortable, then i make em chit chat with each other to loosen up their respective tongues. After that i bust out a dead easy to follow grammar page with pictures - everybody loves pictures - and after they've robotically done the drills i make everyone walk around the room and use cues that i've written on the board to interact with each other. They like this. For some reason it is funny. i haven't figured out that part yet. To me it is just beautifully killing time. Next, i give them new vocab words from a pre-arranged sheet that also has discussion questions using the new words. This is brilliant. It almost completely takes the teacher out of the equation so he or she can sit back and play video games on their cell phones.

Then there is the classic, guess what word i am holding on the little scrap of paper that Kurt gave me. They have to desribe the word without saying it. They love this one too, and again it gets em up and interacting, hopefully not with me.

So these are some examples of my master plan of success through laziness.

Not bragging or anything, i've gotten lots of repeat business and positive feedback, students wanting me to keep being their teacher and whatnot. It doesnt go to my head or anything (i am the greatest man that ever lived), but today i was thinking shit; i know how to maximize student talking time in class, make everyone feel smart and happy, and get them feeling like i did all the work, when in fact i did next to nothing. If this crap isn't marketable, then i don't know what is! That's when the thought occurred that i should take my show on the road and make people pay me to train their teachers. However,our company doesn't have any such program for incoming instructors. They - along with most Taiwanese companies - pretty much throw you in the water and see if you can swim. If you can, you get more students. If not, good luck. So my crafty plan may have no market value after all. Still, i gotta try. And if i get paid to teach teachers how to be lazy and be loved for it, i rule!

But hey, i rule anyway.

My Hood

I walk out my front door and dont almost get hit by cars like i did in several of my old neighborhoods. Thats because in front of my current place theres a driveway of sorts, so there is space between the apartment's front door, and the scooters which occaisionally zoom by. Actually my hood is quite quiet, considering its Taipei, and considering the number of shops just down the road from me. i guess the only reason my particular road isnt positively insane is because its a pretty narrow one-laner; traffic has to be pretty careful when it squeezes through.

There are construction noises here and there. Not monotonous ones like you get some places. There is the sound of people coming and going from the parking garage right behind my house (i am on the first floor so i hear it all too clearly). It is one of those vertical jobs where the cars are basically stacked atop one another. When they come out - or go in, i am not sure which - the parking attendant always bellows "Lai lai lai lai lai (pronounced lie)" which means come. He wails pretty regularly, and sometimes it is annoying, but like i said, the noises in this neighborhood pale in comparison to some of my old ones.

A small block away is the bustling small-shops and market street. Basically there is everything but a grocery store. There are fruit stands, vegetable ones, tea shops, desert carts, sweet potato guys, breakfast stores, jewelry stores, and a hardware store, not to mention a few restaurants, a bakery, and a convenience store. You can walk this strip in roughly 3 minutes.

Right now im drinking Organic Vitality Qi-Strengthen Tea (it should be Strengthening, but they of course dont know grammar) So this tea is supposed to strengthen my chi and stuff, which is cool. It is actually really good and i dont think people back home have ever tried such a flavor in tea before. Cant really tell if my chi points have gone up or not though. i want a refund.

So yeah, its interesting to see people literally frying things in the street, or at least right on the side of the road. Right near the organic restaurant where i eat is one or two outdoor meat-eating places where old guys use huge frying pans to cook up who knows what on a hot day. Despite the increasing heat, Taiwanese people still sit outside and eat next to the hot stoves. The air next to some of these places is hot, unidentified-cooking-substance, mixed with the smell of burning metal (from the gigantic pans). But i guess if youre into that sort of food, it smells pretty darn good.

Up and running

Yeah so like it wasnt exactly a gigantic feat to get this blog going. What is a feat is the fact that i am writing, after having been lazy and not writing much in the last two years. Ive kept a journal for so long and now that habit has died out and ive felt the absence of it for some time. One thought that occurred to me was that i have had nothing much to complain about, in terms of life in general, or women. Looking back, lots of my journal space was spent bitching about girls. But i wrote alot of positive thoughts as well, along with cool experieces ive had.

And i was thinking, i could write in my journals and probably no one will ever see them until i die, or i could just put most of it down here, and maybe somebody will feel connected to my life by reading it.

So this is the beginning, and is a direct result of supplanting one habit with another, which you can read about in the TV Fast entry. An experiment in will power. Back in highschool when i was obsessed with getting huge by lifting weights, i would go on these extreme fasts, like "no candy and soda for a year." Well, ok maybe there was just that one. No, wait. i also did another TV fast that i remember lasted a long time. Point is, i think i can turn my bad habits into productivity. So that is what im gonna do.

Thats my plan, stickin to it.

Healthy Crap?

So i am a vegetarian right? And i used to do all that fasting back when i lived with the monks, and then continued a couple years after. Recently i havent really done it, except one day here or there, because i started getting really gaseous and bloated for a coule days after each fast. My crap over the years has gotten softer. And im not sure if i should attribute it to fasting, vegetarianism, or some nasty virus that Sam picked up in India, then gave to me in Thailand. No, its not AIDS. But it gave me the most massive diarrhea of my life, and since then i swear my poo has dwindled from its once solid form.

Not too long ago i pumped a clump into a cup at the doctors just to be sure. No parasites apparently. But i crap alot, like 3 or 4 times a day, and they are usually urgent poos, not slowly percolating ones. Why do i think you want to know this? Because who doesnt think talking about poo is funny? And in this case, educational. Bet you didnt know all of this about my brown logs, or vegetarian poo. In any case, I have decided to believe that my dumps are healthy, and their frequency a sign of said health, brought on by eating lots of fibrous things. But i still wonder about fecal density... Just how soft should this shit be?